Why New Year Resolutions don’t work

Hey there,

Good morning and happy Sunday to you!

I’m nearing the end of a one-month holiday break from my acting school in San Francisco. I do realize how blessed I am to be able to have a break like this and I’m so grateful for it. This time away has been incredibly healing and needed – much more than I knew I even needed or desired.

But what I’m most grateful for is how excited I am to get back to work. I’m incredibly grateful that I love my job.

What are you MOST grateful for today?

As so often happens as a year comes to a close we reflect on “what is” and “what isn’t” in our lives.

So it was no accident then that a few weeks back I asked you to answer a very personal question, “What pattern or behavior in your life is not working for you?”

I also asked if you’d send your response directly to me that I would not share it with others.

Well, the responses were overwhelming and beautifully honest and two things became very clear:

  • Everyone has their stuff
  • Everyone wants to be happy.

I had several reasons for asking this question. One is I’m creating something to share with you all that has helped me immensely and I hope it helps you.

And two, I was really asking this of myself as I reflected on my year of what is and what isn’t for me because it has been a very humbling year for me – personally and professionally. Not bad just a lot of upheaval and change in all areas of my life.

And this is what this break was all about for me – getting really honest about the areas of my life that are not working. And more, importantly getting to the source of where these limiting beliefs and behaviors started.

And what I discovered was a huge surprise because it was something I thought I had already dealt with and transcended.

Clearly not and “my year” reflected how much work I still needed to do.

What was my discovery?

Before that, a story.

When I was working my way up the Hollywood Food Chain my wife was the personal assistant to the most powerful producer in Hollywood, Don Simpson. You’ve never heard of Don because he died 20 years ago the way so many lost people in Hollywood die – overdosed on the bathroom floor in his $20 million dollar estate.

Don Simpson and his partner Jerry Bruckheimer (you’ve probably heard of him) owned Hollywood in the 80’s. Their first film was Flashdance. Next came Top Gun, Beverly Hills Cop, Days Of Thunder, Bad Boys, Crimson Tide, and The Rock.

They were incredibly successful and rich and in Hollywood that equals power. And Don Simpson died from all of it.

Those who were close to Don’s ride new it was coming. When the head of Disney Studios, Michael Eisner, heard of Don’s death he said, “I’ve been waiting for this news for ten years.”

A train wreck.

And a crash I was very close to it because my ex was his personal assistant for five years.

I saw it all.

And it scared me.

And the reason it scared me is because Don Simpson and I were a lot alike. Oh trust me, we’re also miles apart but I definitely saw a lot of me in him.

And none of it good.

What I discovered during this month off of soul-searching and brutal honesty was this – deep, really deeeeeeeeeeep inside me (even though I thought I’d done all this work) I still equate success, money, and power with “trouble.” By trouble I mean Don Simpson trouble – divorce, drugs, unhappiness, and the biggest trouble of all if you love life, death.

No wonder my two biggest projects this last year “stalled.”

For me to go where I want to go I need to heal (on a whole other level) my beliefs about money, success, and power.

I’m humbled to realize I still equate them to trouble. And that is simply not true because there are lots and lots of wonderful examples of people lives where that’s not the case.

What are you beliefs about these things? Money? Success? Power?

Or more importantly, what is your biggest limiting belief about anything having to do with YOU being brilliant?

Until we get to the center of what limits us from stepping into our brilliance all of our New Year Resolutions to “change and be better” will continue to be haunt us instead of empowering us.

I’d love to hear from you – whether you send me a private email or post something on our Facebook community. In fact, it’s my favorite part of writing these newsletters!

My very best to you, Jim

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