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Finding balance when I lose it

Finding balance when I lose it

I want to talk with you about balance and how to find it when I lose it. Well, I just returned from Hawaii late last evening. I arrived at midnight into Oakland, got my bags after forty five-minutes because … who knows.

So I finally got my bags, took the shuttle to my car, found the car (after month I honestly had no clue), started it up, and began my hour and a half drive home.

I arrived at 3:00am and crawled into bed.
I think.

As tired as I was driving home, I was struck by something. In fact it hit me hard.

One of my great strengths as a “dreamer” is I am a doer. I go after it, I am laser-focused, determined, resilient, and if I say I am going to do something, it’s done.

I believe If you’re a dreamer, these are very important qualities.

But as I’ve shared on many occasion, I can get “out of balance” and when that happens I get a tightness in my chest, I barely breathe (I’m not kidding, like barely), and in a very short time I become the opposite of “who I want to be.”

Not my best version.

So, even after a month in Hawaii of THE most lazy, laaaaaazzzzzy days, of EXTREME balance and slower breathing and slower eating and slower “everything” I found myself standing by the baggage carousel waiting for “late bags” starting to get that feeling inside.

By the time I got into my car and began the long drive home I was feeling the opposite of my time in Hawaii.

Sheeeesh.
Seriously?

Yes, seriously.

And then I had a beautiful moment of beautiful balance. An old teaching I heard many years ago came into my head/heart, “Where ever you go, there you are.”

And there I was, even after a month in Hawaii I started to go to my “go-to” way of being – too fast with everything and not patient enough when life is not unfolding at my pace.

I’ve spent years becoming this version of me. It started honestly when I began my dream/career of being an actor thirty years ago. I had started late (29), I had zero training, and even less relationships or help within the business.

I ALWAYS felt like I could never do enough, that I was in a race that had started years before without me so I was always way behind.

For awhile it worked for me. I just “went after it” with 1000% effort and determination and in time things started to unfold.

But the price was I began to feel this “tension” inside of me. Eventually it became so severe it was hard to “balance out.”

Finally, through lots of help – therapy, books, teachers, and lots of healthy downtime – I got things back in balance. I started taking these long, beautiful breaks several years ago. And every morning I have created a really wonderful routine of journaling, meditation, prayers, and a physical workout that is my haven – my balance.

But “it” still is in there – simmering just below the surface. And it’s because I spent years investing in a certain way of walking through life, and that comes at a price.

I coined a phrase several years ago after working out three days in a row after not working out for some time. I was very proud of myself. So proud, I took the next day off. And then the next day off as well and soon I was back to not working out. That’s when I came up with this very important teaching for me, “Three days in a row (pick the # – 3, 30, 6 months) is NOT a comeback.”

To change, to truly change behavior you MUST be a daily warrior.

Daily.

Because where ever you go, there you are. Even if you go Hawaii for a month, you’re brining “you” with you – that version  of you that is currently the result of every choice you have ever made.

Humbling but there it is.

So driving home last night I realized I have MUCH more work to do. Yay! I’m excited and grateful to at least be sensitive and aware to all that I am not.

How about you?

Where are you these days in terms of grace and patience and open-heartedness? What are you doing on a daily basis to get healthier so you can have THE most extraordinary day?

Week?
Month?
Life?

Because wherever we go, there we are.

I’m with you, believe me.

My very best.
Always,
Jim

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